Not long after I left my legal career and stepped into the unknown of starting my own coaching business, a friend asked me a simple question: ‘what will success look like?’
The question caught me off guard. I’d been so focused on creating something new, finding my feet, and navigating all the challenges that comes with reinventing my life, that I hadn’t thought about what success would mean for me.
I looked at her and said, quite honestly, ‘I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that.’
And I did.
I pondered the question for days, carrying it with me during walks, quiet moments, and through journaling. I knew success for me was no longer defined by job titles, income, cars, or postcodes. It’s not about external appearances. For so long, those were the markers we were taught to chase. They looked shiny, impressive and safe.
After leaving the familiar world where I was respected and secure, those external measures felt irrelevant.
I asked myself: What truly matters?
And then the answer came. Success is feeling free to choose how I spend my day.
It’s sitting with my parents over a cup of tea and being truly present, not checking my phone, not mentally planning the next thing, but being there.
It’s walking on the beach with nowhere to go, just soaking in the salt air and the stillness that fills my soul.
It’s spontaneous travel with my family, making memories we’ll talk about for years to come.
It’s a romantic dinner in a new city with my husband, feeling adventurous and alive.
It’s the simple joy of lighting a candle at the end of the day and letting myself exhale.
It’s deep belly laughs over a wine with a dear friend, sharing stories we’ve never told before.
Success, for me, has become all the things that can’t be measured in dollars or accolades.
It’s not loud. It’s not always visible. But it’s deeply felt.
Success is love.
It’s presence.
It’s freedom.
It’s connection.
It’s knowing I am living in alignment with my values, and that I’m making a positive impact on my family, my community, and the women I work with.
There was a time when I might have been embarrassed to say these things out loud. To admit that the external markers no longer hold meaning for me. But I now know I’m not alone. Many midlife women are reaching this same realisation. After decades of doing what was expected. Building careers, raising families, juggling responsibilities, and holding it all together, we’re finally asking:
What do I actually want?
What does success mean to me now?
The answers are often quiet, grounded, and soulful. They highlight space, beauty, autonomy, depth, peace, and joy, emphasising time for what and who matters most.
I’m grateful my friend asked the question. It allowed me to define success on my own terms. This new definition guides me as I build my business, raise my kids, love my people, and live more intentionally each day.
What’s your definition of success? Take your time to think about it. Write it down, discuss it, or reflect on it. Once you understand what success means to you, you can start shaping your life around it with every decision. That is the true essence of success.
by Jacqui Hawkins
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