“We can’t become what we don’t see.”
That line kept echoing in my mind after yet another conversation with a brilliant, capable, burnt-out woman.
Lately, I’ve been speaking with women in law, medicine, finance and science, women in their 40s and 50s who are passionate about their work. They’ve built incredible careers, contributed to their fields, raised families, and juggled all the moving parts of life. They care deeply. They show up. They give their all.
But behind the polished titles and professional masks, something’s breaking down.
They’re running on empty.
Stretched beyond capacity.
Dimming their internal flame just to keep going.
And I keep asking the same question:
Who are your female role models?
Not just the ones who smashed the glass ceiling by working 80-hour weeks and sacrificing their personal lives.
But the ones who have shown it’s possible to:
- Lead with compassion and grace,
- Build a successful career without losing themselves,
- Nurture a family and a team,
- Stay kind, collaborative, and well, not just driven.
And the most common response I get? Silence.
Or sometimes a nervous laugh, a shrug, and a quiet, ‘I don’t know…’
Why Does This Matter?
Because when women don’t see other women living and leading in ways that are whole, balanced, and healthy, we assume it’s not possible.
We assume we have to hustle harder.
We believe that burnout is just part of the deal.
We think that if we want to keep climbing, we’ll have to lose a part of ourselves along the way.
And honestly? I don’t accept that.
The Role Models We Need Aren’t Always the Ones in the Spotlight
I know there are women out there who are leading differently.
You’re just not loud about it.
Maybe you’ve crafted a life that feels aligned, joyful, and sustainable.
Maybe you’ve said no to the status quo and yes to boundaries, health, and connection.
Maybe you’ve created a kinder, more conscious version of success, one that’s not driven by ego or external approval, but by meaning and integrity.
But you’re not telling your story. You’re not showing what’s possible.
And we need you to.
Because younger women, your peers, your teams, we’re all watching.
And we’re hungry for new examples.
We need to see leadership that’s not built on burnout.
We need to see women thriving in senior roles, not just surviving.
We need to see that ambition and softness can co-exist. That success doesn’t have to come at the cost of self.
So, if That’s You, Please Step Forward
Now more than ever, we need more women modelling a different way.
- If you’ve learned how to lead and still make it to your kid’s soccer game,
- If you’ve walked away from toxic work cultures and built something nourishing,
- If you’ve carved out your own version of success that includes joy, balance, and purpose…
Please don’t keep it to yourself.
Be seen. Be heard.
Mentor. Speak. Write. Share.
Not because you need to be perfect, but because your presence gives others permission.
It doesn’t have to be loud or flashy.
It just has to be visible.
Because when women start leading from wholeness, not depletion, we all benefit.
And that’s the future I want to be part of.
by Jacqui Hawkins
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