I never thought I’d do it.
Strip off completely and step into a public bathhouse in Japan, totally naked, with strangers.
But I did. And it changed me.
Let me take you to Kinosaki, a beautiful little town nestled among the mountains and famed for its seven traditional onsens. It’s quiet, peaceful, and steeped in ritual. The kind of place that invites you to slow down and soak it all in, literally.
But here’s the catch:
In Japanese onsen culture, you must bathe naked. No towels. No swimwear. No exceptions.
For someone raised in a culture that quietly shames ageing bodies, especially women’s, this was confronting. I’m a woman in midlife. My body has carried children, navigated stress, hormones, grief, triumphs, and time. I’ve got wrinkles. Wobbly bits. Scars. And the kind of imperfections that, for years, I thought I needed to hide.
And yet, there I was, standing in a change room, robe in hand, heartbeat in my throat.
I nearly backed out.
But something within me whispered, “This is your edge. Lean in.”
So, I did.
I took off the robe, walked into the female-only bathhouse, and submerged myself into the warm, healing water. And then I did it again. And again. Over a few days, I visited multiple onsens. Each time feeling a little more liberated. A little more at peace.
No One Cared. Not One Person Blinked.
You know what surprised me the most?
No one stared. No one judged. In fact, no one even noticed.
Because the truth is, everyone’s too focused on their own experience. No one was scanning for flaws or imperfections. The only person who was doing that… was me.
It made me realise just how much time I’ve spent living in my own head — assuming judgment, bracing for criticism, trying to contort myself into an idea of perfection that doesn’t even exist.
But in that bathhouse, with steam rising and silence wrapping around us like a blanket, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Freedom.
Not the loud, shouty kind. But a soft, deep, inner freedom.
The kind that says:
“You’re enough. Just as you are. You don’t need to earn it. You don’t need to prove it.”
Fortune Favours the Brave
It’s funny how life gives you metaphors wrapped in real moments.
That onsen experience wasn’t really about being naked — it was about being seen.
Seen by myself.
Accepted by myself.
Free from the old narratives that told me I needed to shrink, hide, or perfect myself before I could belong.
The older I get, the more I realise: Midlife is not a crisis. It’s a cracking open.
It’s a call to stop waiting.
To stop apologising.
To stop postponing joy until our bodies look a certain way, or the conditions are “right.”
Midlife is the invitation to start living on purpose. To say “yes” to things that scare us. To rewrite the story we’ve been handed — especially the one that says we’re too old, too flawed, or too late.
This Is the Work
This is what I help women do in my coaching — not bathe naked in onsens (although I highly recommend it) — but to come home to themselves. To reconnect with who they truly are beneath the conditioning, the expectations, the self-doubt.
To choose freedom over fear.
To claim visibility over invisibility.
To lead with their inner wisdom instead of chasing external approval.
And it starts with tiny moments.
The breath before a bold decision.
The pause before saying yes to something that lights you up.
The quiet knowing that you’re ready — even if you’re scared.
Your Turn
So, let me ask you this:
When was the last time you did something that pushed you out of your comfort zone… and made you feel completely alive?
What edge are you standing on right now?
And what might happen if you just said —
“Fck it. I’m doing it anyway.”*
Because fortune really does favour the brave.
And you, my love, are braver than you know.
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