Somewhere between the carpool line and the hospital waiting room, she realised she’d lost herself.
Not all at once. Not in some big dramatic moment. But in the accumulation of everyday expectations. The caregiving. The emotional labour. The relentless mental juggling act. Somewhere in the push to be everything to everyone. Her needs, her dreams, slipped quietly to the bottom of the list.
This is the hidden reality for so many midlife women.
They are the backbone of families and the quiet engine rooms of society. They’re raising school-aged kids or sometimes even grandkids, while also coordinating care for ageing parents with increasingly complex needs. They’re running households, managing emotional dynamics, and often trying to maintain a meaningful career at the same time.
They are the ‘Sandwich Generation’. And the cost of being part of it is alarmingly high.
The Invisible Load
This stage of life is often painted in rosy hues, empty nest freedom and career peak years. But the truth for many women is far from that.
Instead, they’re navigating the crushing in-between. It’s the medical appointments, the pharmacy pickups, the late-night worry about a parent’s decline or a child’s struggles. It’s the unpaid emotional labour that never ends.
And they’re doing it all in a system that talks about ‘flexibility’ and ‘work-life balance’ but rarely delivers. Women are still expected to work as if they don’t have families, and care for families as if they don’t have careers.
The result?
Chronic stress.
Guilt over not being enough, for anyone.
Shame about falling short at work or at home.
Burnout that simmers below the surface, until it boils over.
The Great Resignation, One Silent Woman at a Time
Every week, I speak to women who are more than capable. They’re brilliant, experienced, educated, deeply committed. They are leaders, changemakers, creatives, and professionals.
But they’re tired.
Really tired.
And many of them are quietly exiting the workforce, not because they want to, but because they feel like they have no other choice. The system doesn’t support the life stage they’re in. Workplaces claim to value diversity and inclusion yet offer no real solutions for women navigating caregiving at both ends.
And let’s not forget the hormonal chaos many of these women are enduring behind the scenes. Perimenopause and menopause bringing their own brand of unpredictability and discomfort, often dismissed or misunderstood.
Is it any wonder so many women feel lost, broken, or invisible?
This Isn’t Personal Failure. This Is System Failure.
We need to stop framing this as a woman’s individual inability to cope. This isn’t about a lack of resilience or ambition.
This is about:
- Workplaces that aren’t designed for the realities of women’s lives
- Cultures that still undervalue caregiving
- Leadership that fails to understand the emotional and physical toll of midlife
- Policies that are outdated and inflexible
- A society that expects women to hold it all together without any real support
It’s time we reframe this narrative.
What Needs to Change
Structural support for true flexibility, not just lip service.
Educated leadership who understand this life stage and actively champion women in it.
Career models that allow for ebb and flow without penalty or judgment.
A cultural shift that stops glorifying burnout and starts honouring balance.
We need a new blueprint, one where midlife women aren’t punished for doing what society has always expected of them: caring for others.
Reclaiming Ourselves
To the women in the sandwich generation: I see you.
You are not failing. You are doing something incredibly hard with heart, grace, and strength.
You deserve space to breathe.
You deserve support, not just sympathy.
You deserve to live a life that includes you at the centre of it.
The cost of admission to the sandwich generation is too high. It’s time we lower that price, not by asking women to do less, but by asking the system to do better.
by Jacqui Hawkins
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