You’re focused. Energised. Deeply immersed in something that matters. Time melts away and you lose yourself in the moment; completely present and powerfully alive.
That’s flow.
If you’re like so many midlife women I coach, juggling a demanding career, teenagers or young adults, ageing parents, hormonal changes, an endless to-do list, and the emotional labour of holding everyone else together, flow can feel like a distant memory. Something you used to experience, maybe, before life got this full.
Flow isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline. And it can even be found in the middle of your messy, brilliant, stretched-thin life.
What is flow and why does it matter?
Flow is a state of deep engagement, clarity, and alignment. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term, described it as the optimal experience, where you’re fully absorbed in what you’re doing, challenged just enough to grow, and supported by your own skills and strengths.
Flow doesn’t mean calm and it’s not about being “stress-free.” It means being present in what you’re doing, no longer dragged by the past or rushing into the future.
In flow, you’re not second-guessing yourself. You’re not doom-scrolling. You’re not trying to answer texts while sitting in a Zoom meeting while mentally organising dinner.
You’re right here, right now and in that moment everything feels effortless.
Midlife women especially those in leadership, service, or caregiving roles are rarely given the space to feel that kind of presence. And even when the opportunity arises, we’re often so depleted or distracted that we don’t recognise it.
Why is flow so elusive?
Flow doesn’t thrive in chaos. And life right now? It’s a lot.
Here are just a few common flow blockers I see in the women I work with:
- Mental overload from carrying the invisible load
- Multitasking and constant context-switching
- Perfectionism and pressure to perform
- Emotional exhaustion from caregiving, leadership, and doing it all
- Hormonal changes that affect energy, focus, and mood
No wonder flow feels out of reach when your nervous system is overloaded, your energy is scattered, and your time is fragmented. You’re not broken. You’re just maxed out.
But you were made for more than survival mode.
And you can reconnect with this flow feeling.
Reclaiming flow one moment at a time
You don’t have to overhaul your life to find flow again. You don’t need a sabbatical or a silent retreat (although let’s be honest, that sounds nice too).
Flow begins in the small moments.
It begins with intention.
It begins when you say: I matter enough to come home to myself, even just for 15 minutes.
Here are five powerful ways to invite more flow into your day:
🔹 Get clear on your focus.
Before diving in, ask: What really matters here? What’s my goal? Your brain loves a clear ‘why.’ Let it guide your energy.
🔹 Minimise distractions.
Even 30 minutes of uninterrupted focus can change the tone of your whole day. Turn off notifications. Shut the tabs. Honour your time.
🔹 Find your stretch zone.
Flow lives between boredom and burnout. Choose something that gently challenges you, a new project, a brave conversation, a piece of creative work.
🔹 Create rituals.
Light a candle. Take a breath. Put on a playlist. These small acts signal to your brain: It’s time to drop in.
🔹 Work with your energy, not against it.
If you’re drained by 3pm, don’t force high-focus work. Rest, move, nourish. Flow needs fuel, not force.
Midlife is a catalyst to change
This season of life is not about winding down. It’s not about disappearing.
It’s about coming home – to your voice, your energy, your truth.
Midlife is the time to unhook from who the world told you to be and step into who you really are.
And flow? Flow reconnects you to her.
The woman you were before the roles, the rules, and the expectations.
The woman who still lives within you, waiting to be felt, heard, and seen again.
This week, carve out one small window of time for focused, meaningful work.
One hour. One task. One moment of deep, nourishing presence.
That’s where flow begins.
And from there? Who knows what you’ll create.
If you’re ready to reconnect with your focus, your confidence, and your sense of self, that’s exactly what we do at Lit Within. Because you don’t need to do more, you just need to come back to you.
Your midlife isn’t the end of anything. It’s the start of everything.
by Jacqui Hawkins
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